


LET US GO THEN, YOU & I

by jaekyu



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hipsters, Alternate Universe - Internet Celebrity, An abundance of pretentious reference herein, It's a JYP New Gen Family Affair, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-31
Updated: 2016-03-31
Packaged: 2018-05-30 06:45:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6413197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaekyu/pseuds/jaekyu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You ever been on a trip like this before?” Jae asks, maybe a little later then he should have if he really had any doubts.</p><p>Brian doesn’t look up from his map, “Not really, but I’ve seen Y Tu Mama Tambien,” he shrugs, then says, “oh, and Jackson’s ex-boyfriend Jinyoung read On The Road once. Gave me gist when we were really high because he kept insisting it changed his life. How do you feel about a detour to the Grand Canyon?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	LET US GO THEN, YOU & I

**Author's Note:**

> for jas ❤️ 
> 
> also if you are here from jas' day6 tlist, y'all can find me on twitter @[eyemoIes](https://twitter.com/eyemoIes) LOL

_LET US GO THEN, YOU & I, WHEN THE EVENING IS SPREAD OUT AGAINST THE SKY_  
(t.s. eliot)

 

 

 

 

Jae sleeps through his flight home.

Okay, wait, context. Context is important. Here’s some context: Jae came to visit Brian.

Jae came to visit Brian because Jae and Brian had been friends too damn long through the screens of their computers and cellphones, had too many conversations stuck within the confines of Facetime and Skype. So, Jae took a plane all the way from California - where it was warm and sunny and they could have gone to the _beach_ \- to come see Brian in Toronto. Where it’s just Canada, late Spring, and it’s starting to get warmer but no one is going to the beach.

They have fun regardless. Jae bundles up with a scarf and fingerless gloves and Brian laughs at him in his light windbreaker and backwards baseball cap. They go out and get coffee a lot and fuck around on their phones on the floor of Brian’s bedroom and stream a lot of Netflix while they munch on Italian one day, Chinese the next, some Pho for lunch - whatever take out they’re feeling.

Brian lives with two roommates and they’re alright. Jaebum is quiet and kinda grumpy, but he loosens up. Jackson is loud and maybe a little too familiar with Jae a little too quickly and Brian sits somewhere between the two. The three of them end up balancing each other out pretty well.

Jaebum’s girlfriend is nice too. She’s lithe and tiny and pretty and her name is Nayeon. She gives Jae a small smile when Jaebum introduces her that is both warm and welcoming. Then she beats the three of them at Monopoly.

Jae stays for a week and half.

Or, he was supposed to stay for a week and half but he missed his flight. But that’s _after_.

 _Before_ it’s Jae’s last day in Toronto and it’s overcast. A sort of sadness that permeates over the whole day that’s even evident in the weather, it seems. Brian wears a beanie, Jae ditches his sunglasses and they try and have a good day regardless.

So, here’s the context you’re really looking for: They get fucking wasted. Maybe because it’s the easiest way to have a good time without Jae’s inevitable return home hanging over their heads. They pre-drink shots of tequila and lukewarm organic beer at home and then Jackson directs them to a club. They have a contest, once they’re there, to see who can get the most drinks bought for them. Brian wins, by a landslide, and it’s not surprising.

Jae gets so drunk that sometime around 5AM when they get home he’s a) convinced himself he’s going to die and b) completely forgot he’s got a flight to LAX in five hours.

Jae and Brian order pizza, pass the fuck out while it’s still piping hot, and wake up seven hours later when Jae’s flight home has long left him behind.

 

 

 

 

 

“Bro,” Mark says from the other side of the line, in California. Jae’s still here, in Toronto, in Canada and he’s cold as balls. Brian’s opened up a window in his bedroom for fresh air to clear their stuffy hungover heads, he said. A wind blows in steadily. Jae shrinks into his hoodie and remembers this call is going to cost him long distance. “I went to pick you up at the airport, what the fuck?”

“Sorry, sorry,” Jae replies. He drops his head into the hand that isn’t holding the phone right now. It’s pounding, like his brain is banging against the walls of his skull and soon it’s going to liquefy and leak out his ears. “I woke up this morning and realized what was going on and it was hard to think beyond my panic.”

Mark sighs. “It’s fine. _I_ had to drive an extra twenty minutes home. Meanwhile, you’re still in another country.”

“Don’t remind me,” Jae groans.

“But like,” Mark starts, decidedly ignoring Jae’s pleas to let him live in blissful denial, “what are you gonna do about that? The whole nearly three thousand miles away thing?”

There’s a funny part of Jae that wants to say _fuck it_ and just live here with Brian forever now. Fate is clearly trying to decide that for him. But that part of Jae is funny in a stupid kind of way because just deciding to never go home is a stupid idea.

Jae has a life in California. He still lives with his parents, he has school and his favourite milkshake place and Mark. All he has in Toronto is Brian, his bursting suitcase and this twin bed they’ve been sharing since Jae got here.

“Brian said he’d drive me.”

(There must be a funny part of Brian’s brain too, to suggest that before considering the alternatives. It’s like a thirty-seven hour drive between Toronto and LA, a distance Jae could travel in less than half that time if he would just book another flight home.

“It’ll be fun,” Brian had insisted, “and we’ll get to spend more time together.”

If the look of hopefulness in Brian’s eyes hadn’t been enough to convince Jae, the promise of his last words sealed the deal.)

 

 

 

 

 

The story of how Brian and Jae met is a real cliche of the modern world.

It all starts with an accidental double tap on Instagram.

This is back when Brian is pushing about seven thousand followers and not boasting the million he has now. Up to this point, Brian’s amassed his following entirely based on his own photography talents, abundance of hashtags and the occasional selfie he posts. The latter are always his posts with the most likes.

Then Brian, found on Instagram at @brianyk, makes it onto Buzzfeed.

Someone writes generic list article about 30 Photos of Toronto That Will Make You Want To Move, or whatever, and they feature a picture Brian took about a year prior. And suddenly his Instagram blows the fuck up.

Jae contributes to this blow up the best way he can. Follows the link to Brian’s Instagram page and taps the follow button, rounding out the next thousand follower milestone Brian has yet to meet.

Jae forgets about Brian for a few weeks after that. Brian’s posts show up on his Instagram feed occasionally - artful shots of the skyline, trees curling over him, the long line of a waterfront with a boat in the distance - but for the most part Jae doesn’t think any different of Brian’s posts compared to everyone other one that shows up on his feed.

One day, Brian posts a selfie.

It’s black and white, with his bangs fanning across his forehead gently. His mouth is turned up into a small smile. The caption is considerably longer than any of Brian’s other posts. It’s a wall of text thanking everyone for contributing to him reaching a million followers.

The post is a few hours old when Jae sees it. It’s about midnight in LA, Jae is in bed, switched his contacts for glasses, when he comes across it. And oh - okay. That’s - Brian’s kind of cute.

Maybe it’s a trick of the lighting. Jae clicks the link to Brian’s Instagram page and scrolls through his grid. It takes awhile to find another selfie, Brian’s shtick is clearly photographs of other things beside himself, but eventually Jae finds one - soft focus with Brian wearing a cap and eating a bowl of ramen.

Okay, so it’s not a trick of lighting. Brian’s cute. Everyone in the comments agrees with Jae. There’s countless comments about how adorable Brian looks, a bunch of girls who want to share ramen with him and some people just flat out turning on caps lock and making no sense.

Jae is determined to do further research regardless.

He clicks back to Brian’s grid and keeps scrolling. And scrolls, scrolls. The only selfie he finds after that is from months ago. It’s so old it has a significant less number of likes and comments then the other two more recent ones Jae has seen.

Jae clicks to scroll lower on the selfie - which is a grid of four photos of Brian in a turtleneck with the same soft focus as the other one - and then his phone fucks up, as an old ass iPhone is want to do, and suddenly Jae is favoriting Brian’s nearly year old selfie.

Jae freezes. Oh, fuck. Jae’s mortified. He’s blinking hard at the little heart that’s filled itself in red now. If he blinks hard enough maybe it will disappear.

No such luck.

Jae considers his options: he can unfavourite the selfie, but by now the notification has already popped up on Brian’s phone screen, tablet screen, or whatever. So Jae decides he’ll own it. Pretend like it was meant to happen and secretly hope Brian just won’t notice.

 

 

 

 

 

The next morning Jae wakes up with a notification from Instagram:

_brianyk is now following you!_

 

 

 

 

 

Jae is trapped in an illicit love affair with California.

It’s his favourite place in the world, probably, which is dumb because it’s gross and overcrowded, traffic is always bad and it costs too much money live there. That doesn’t change how Jae feels, though, and how he feels is that California was made for him.

Brian’s packing the car and while he does this he’s singing that fucking Phantom Planet song out of tune. Jae can hear him from up the stairs of the parking garage of Brian’s apartment complex, him warbling, _California, Californiaaaa, here we coooooome!_.

Jae comes up behind him, dragging his suitcase. “If this is the O.C. I’m definitely Ryan.”

“Driving down the one-oh-one! California, here we come, right back where _Jae_ started from!” Brian continues singing instead of answering, shoving his skateboard alongside his suitcase. He turns back to Jae after he’s done some Tetris magic and finally actually speaks, “no way, bro, I’m Ryan. You’re Seth,” then Brian slips away to the get into the driver’s seat before Jae can protest.

Okay, maybe Brian’s right about that. Whatever, Jae will be Seth. He always liked Summer more than Marissa anyway.

Jae shuts the trunk, albeit with a little difficulty with how tight they’ve packed Brian’s little Neon. When he settles himself into the passenger seat he finds Brian with a map pulled up in front of him, resting on the dash. Brian has a black sharpie and he’s circling cities peppered randomly around the map.

“You ever been on a trip like this before?” Jae asks, maybe a little later then he should have if he really had any doubts.

Brian doesn’t look up from his map, “Not really, but I’ve seen Y Tu Mama Tambien,” he shrugs, then says, “oh, and Jackson’s ex-boyfriend Jinyoung read On The Road once. Gave me gist when we were really high because he kept insisting it changed his life. How do you feel about a detour to the Grand Canyon?”

 

 

 

 

 

Brian’s been playing Simon and Garfunkel since they pulled out of his apartment complex. The only Simon and Garfunkel song Jae’s ever heard was that one in The Graduate, which he only ever watched because his professor played it in his film class.

“When we cross the border,” Jae pleads, “will you please give me the AUX cord?”

Brian turns down the volume slightly, “when we cross the border,” he says, “I’m going to play the Simon and Garfunkel classic America, then we’re going to stop for food, then you can have the AUX cord, you uncultured swine.”

Crossing the border is kind of easy and kind of complicated. Easy because Jae is a returning citizen and they take one look at his passport and don’t think more of it from there. Complicated because Brian’s not a returning citizen, he’s a born and bred Canadian. Maple syrup probably flows through his veins.

That holds them up a bit - but after confirming that Brian means no harm the Land of the Free and that they aren’t bringing any fruits or plants with them, they let them through.

Brian makes good on his promise and within five minutes he’s basically screaming along with _They’ve all gone! To look for America!_

 

 

 

 

 

Brian and Jae find a motel in Michigan about ten minutes from a skate park. It gives Brian an excuse to buy a decent-sized bottle of tequila, which is obviously his drink of choice, trade it back and forth with Jae while it’s covered in a brown paper bag and try and do ollies for an hour and a half.

Jae sits on the lip of a ramp and watches. He’s pulled his shoes off and laid them out in front of him. The hidden bottle of tequila sits inside one of them.

The sky behind Brian is a mix of pink and purple, like a finger painting you do in preschool, and a wind blows slow through the air every once and awhile. It’s not as cold as it was in Toronto - but the wind is the kind of cold that cuts through the long sleeves of Jae’s shirt.

Brian skids to a stop in front of Jae and kicks up his board, clutching it in his hand. “Stand up,” Brian commands.

“Huh?” Jae pushes his cold hands into his sleeves and shivers, just a little.

“Stand up,” Brian gestures with his hands, “you ever skate before?”

Jae relents. He takes the tequila bottle out of his shoes and pushes his foot into them one after the other, tugging the back up over his ankle. Brian drops the board and gives a gentle push to it so it rolls over to Jae.

“No,” Jae says, standing up and pushing his hands back out of the hem of his sleeves. He stops Brian’s skateboard in front of him with the bottom of his foot. Apprehensively, Jae puts a single foot on the center of Brian’s skateboard. Everything seems fine. Next, Jae slowly lifts his second foot and wobbles - and before he can plant his foot right back onto the ground or wipe the fuck out, more likely, Brian has grabbed onto Jae’s elbow.

“Whoa,” Brian breathes out, his other hand coming to settle on Jae’s waist. Jae puts his other foot onto the board, now supported by Brian, and manages to balance himself out. “You got it.”

Brian’s hand feels warm on Jae’s waist and his elbow, even through his shirt. Jae feels every goosebump on his torso from the wind dissipate. He repositions himself onto the board into a better position and when he does his shirt lifts from the band of his sweat pants just slightly.

Brian’s fingers touch the bare skin of Jae’s side, even warmer now. Part of Jae wants to flinch away. . Brian’s fingers clench against his skin and Jae can feel the bite of his fingernails, only briefly, before Brian is dropping his hand from Jae’s waist and taking his wrist instead.

“Okay,” Jae sighs, “I’m good.” He stops glaring down at his wobbly feet and turns his gaze back up to Brian, who is smiling slightly at him.

“Just push yourself forward with your left foot,” Brian coaches. His hand travels up from Jae’s elbow, slow and meticulous with the pads of his fingers, along Jae’s arm until Brian wraps his other hand around Jae’s other wrist.

His fingers rest on Jae’s pulsepoint. Jae tries not to focus on it.

Jae tries skating for a good twenty minutes before he decides he doesn’t have the coordination or balance for it. To his credit, he falls only once. Brian laughs at him from behind his hand.

On the walk back to the motel Brian gives Jae his hoodie. It’s warm and it smells good, Jae tries his best not to sigh and melt into it.

 

 

 

 

 

The next day they decide to drive for as long as possible. They stop at gas stations for cans of energy drinks and beef jerky and the occasional suspicious gas station sandwich. They’re on the edge of Indiana and have just finished sharing a Cinnabon by the time Brian wants to stop for the night.

Only - there’s no hotel. There’s no motel. They find a few of them but every single one has the NO illuminated before their neon VACANCY signs.

Brian breathes out against his bangs hard, moving them across his forehead and out of his eyes. “Fuck,” he says. Jae can tell he’s tired. Caffeine will supply you with all the energy you need but it comes at the cost of a crash. Brian hasn’t had caffeine in a while. He gave the last bit of his energy drink to Jae after explaining if he had anymore he was afraid he was going to give himself heart palpitations.

“It’s cool,” Jae insists. “We’ll sleep in the car, okay?”

 

 

 

 

 

The caffeine draining out of their system sends them to sleep faster than they expected, with Jae’s passenger seat reclined as far back as it will go and Brian laying down in the backseat with his feet tucked under Jae’s headrest.

When Jae looks back on this that’s what he’ll rush to blame: the caffeine still buzzing in his veins, the grogginess that comes with waking up a few hours into your full night of sleep, being in a new place and not quite understanding it because your brain isn’t working quite right.

This is what Jae will blame. In his subconscious, though, he’ll understand that there’s more going on here.

Jae wakes up at 3AM, shivering cold. He’s in a t-shirt, hoodie bunched up underneath his head to serve as a makeshift pillow. He rubs at his eyes blearily, readjusting to the darkness of the car. When his eyes focus they land on Brian, fast asleep and breathing quietly, a steady up and down of his chest.

Brian looks warm, looks comfortable despite his spot in the back seat of his not by any means spacious car. And this is why Jae needs something to blame: he’s not thinking about it too hard when he take his sweater from under his head and pulls it back on. Or when he’s pulling his seat back up into the standard position, maneuvering into the backseat, positioning himself tightly along the length Brian’s body for warmth and to use his chest as his new pillow.

 

 

 

 

 

The sun pouring through the window and directly into his eyes wakes Jae up. He leans over the centre console and searches blindly for his phone for the time. Jae, characteristically for him, loses his balance and accidentally jabs a sharp elbow directly into Brian’s ribs. Brian wakes immediately with a puff of air from his lungs and a groan of pain.

Awake now, Brian’s eyes adjust to the light and his brain takes in his surrounding. When his gaze settles on Jae still half on his chest he furrows his brow.

“What are you doing?”

Jae doesn’t reply, still grappling for his phone. When he finds it it tells him it’s 10AM, so he locks it again and shoves it into his pocket. “Sorry,” he finally says to Brian, “I got cold last night and I -”

“Get off,” Brian interrupts. It startles Jae, a little. Brian’s voice isn’t playful, it isn’t teasing. It’s not like when Jae would sprawl out in his lap back in Toronto and almost knock over his popcorn and Brian would tell him to get the fuck off. It’s sincere. And it’s unimpressed.

“Um, okay,” Jae mumbles, trying not to fall flat on his face as he scrambles back into the passenger seat. Brian wordlessly opens the back door and crawls out, then returns to the inside of the car in his usual spot in the drivers seat.

Brian wordlessly starts the car, wordlessly pulls out of the parking lot.

Actually, he doesn’t talk to Jae until they get to Oklahoma City.

 

 

 

 

 

They stop at a park in some suburb. Brian wants to get on the swings, he tells Jae. Each word he says is sort of clipped and short - and Jae can tell he’s still upset. Jae would have agreed to this suburban park adventure in Oklahoma City, regardless, but Brian’s mood spears him on even more.

The park is empty. It’s late enough at night and it’s a Sunday. Summer break hasn’t started yet, either, so all the kids that would normally occupy all these monkey bars and slides are probably at home brushing their teeth and getting ready for bed.

Brian drops onto a swing. Jae follows suit. Jae swings apathetically, dragging his feet across the sand and watching the dips he makes as he goes back and forth. Beside him, Brian swings with much more vigour.

When Brian comes to a stop again, Jae leans against the chain of his swing and watches him. “I’m sorry,” he says quietly. He’s still not sure what he’s apologizing for but he knows that Brian needs to hear it.

Brian squeezes his eyes shut and breathes deep. Jae watches as Brian’s eyelashes flutter when he opens his eyes again. “It’s okay,” Brian says. The sunset is casting an orange glow across his face, making a shadow of his nose across his cheek. Brian smiles, finally, and Jae feels his seized up chest relax.

“Hey,” someone says. Jae and Brian both whip their heads behind them to see a teenager, maybe about seventeen, hanging out just about five feet away. Jae lifts his eyebrows above the frame of his glasses. The kid looks them up and down quickly, then says, “you wanna buy some weed?”

 

 

 

 

 

Buying weed from a strange teenager in Oklahoma City probably isn’t the smartest thing Jae’s ever done. Buying _cheap-ass_ weed from a strange teenager in Oklahoma City might be the dumbest thing Jae’s ever done.

He does it anyway.

They have to drive around for half an hour to find a corner store that sells rolling papers and when they do all they have is cherry flavoured, which costs them an extra dollar fifty compared to the regular.

Brian pulls them into a deserted Wal-Mart parking lot and Jae rolls the joint for them. They smoke half the weed this kid sold them and Jae’s head is swimming long before they decide they’ve smoked enough.

“Whenever I smoke weed,” Brian says and Jae hears him fine but it sounds like Brian is talking to him at the opposite end of a tunnel. “Whenever I smoke weed I always feel like my brain is spinning.” Brian pushes two fingers against his temples.

“What?” Jae asks flatly.

“Like someone put their hands in my head,” Brian mimics the motions in the space between his spread thighs, “and is just turning my brain. Spining it. Like one of those carnival rides I would never go on that makes you go zero gee.”

Jae cocks his head and narrows his eyes. He’s still not getting it, but he hums a sound that seems like an agreement and returns to breathing fog onto his passenger side window and writing his name in it. “Shit,” he mumbles after the fourth time, “shit, Brian, I have to piss. I’m literally gonna - I need a toilet or I’m going to piss my pants.”

“Bro, bro, _relax_ ,” Brian says, rolling the R on his tongue. He turns the key in the ignition and the car lurches to life, a familiar hum under both their asses and feet. “There’s a gas station down the street. You can take a piss and I can get some Gatorade.”

 

 

 

 

 

Context is important. Here’s some context:

Jae and Brian get home the morning Jae is supposed to leave and before they order pizza Brian says, face down into his pillow, “I don’t want you to leave.”

Jae wobbles on his feet a little in his corner of the room, on his phone scrolling through Instagram. Brian’s last post shows up on his timeline - a shot from earlier in the day, front-facing camera pointing toward Brian’s and Jae’s exaggerated pouting faces. The caption says _@jhpark is going home tomorrow_ and there’s a sad faced emoji staring up from the screen. Someone’s commented _are you guys dating?_. Jae re-reads the comment over and over until his screen dims. Then he remembers to blink.

“It’s too cold here for me,” Jae replies, padding his socked feet over to the bed and flopping down beside Brian. “I’m not a cold-blooded reptile like you,” he knocks his fist against Brian’s shoulder, “my terrarium needs a heat lamp.”

Brian scrunches his face up. Every line he makes from his forehead down to his nose, Jae thinks, is cuter than the last. "I had an iguana when I was a kid," Brian says, "he was cold-blooded _and_ he needed a heat lamp."

Jae blinks. He's been foiled. "Fair enough."

"That means,'" Brian continues, turning on his side. He inches a little closer to Jae. Their knees knock. "That you can stay here. Forever. With me. Forever.”

“I get it,” Jae smiles. It’s not a hard sell. Brian’s the best friend Jae’s ever had, distance between them be damned. Jae could be - wants to be - friends with Brian forever. That’s a good start. Beyond that all Brian has to do is convince Jae a frozen hellhole like Toronto is worth it.

“Did I mention it would be forever?” Brian smiles back, all teeth and gums, the way he only smiles when he’s really happy, the way he laughs when he really means it.

Jae’s so drunk, his head is swimming, and Brian is kind of beautiful, he thinks. About a million Instagram users agree - but here, in Brian’s bedroom in his bed with their knees stuck together and Brian’s foot between Jae’s calves, it’s even more obvious. Like, Jae can’t even try and ignore it. If he shuts his eyes he’s sure his imagination will imprint Brian on his eyelids and then put some angelic glow around him.

“You’re staring,” Brian whispers, his voice quiet. It’s like he’s not sure if he’s allowed to mention the weight of Jae’s gaze. And maybe he shouldn’t have because something in the air between Brian and Jae breaks, the weight of Jae’s gaze seems to shatter it like glass, and suddenly Jae’s mouth is moving without him really thinking about it.

“Can you kiss me?” Jae says. When the words leave his mouth it feels like he’s been waiting forever to say them.

“What,” Brian whispers again - but it’s not alarmed, it’s not a question, it’s just an exhale of breath around a single word.

“Kiss me,” Jae replies simply.

It feels like exploding into a million pieces, into bursts of stardust, when Brian seals his mouth against Jae’s. Brian’s mouth is so, so warm. How Brian can live somewhere so cold but be the warmest thing Jae’s ever felt is a mystery.

The two of them lie there, on their sides and with their legs tangled, kissing so slow it’s like the world has stopped around them.

Brian slips his hand into the hair at the back at Jae’s neck and tugs, just a little, and Jae shivers and groans. His skin itches with want.

Brian’s nose knocks the frame of his glasses and suddenly they’re crooked on Jae’s face, digging a little harshly into his ears, the bridge of his nose - but Jae doesn’t want to stop kissing Brian. He wants to stop breathing air and start breathing in Brian instead.

Jae feels Brian’s hand curl around his forearm, feels every press of his five fingers, and let’s himself be tugged over so that Brian lays flat on his back with Jae straddling his hips.

Brian sinks his teeth into Jae’s bottom lip. Jae moans, audible enough to be embarrassing this time. He doesn’t care, though, he just wants to roll his hips down against Brian’s and see what kind of noises he can pull from Brian’s own throat.

They break apart reluctantly. Kissing is becoming a mess of slippery spit. They need to regroup and figure it out again. But they can’t, they can’t do it. They’re apart for a split second and manage to open their eyes and look at each other before Brian is pulling Jae forward by his shirt collar again.

The sudden movement washes a wave of nausea over Jae. The overload of alcohol in his stomach is coming back to haunt him.

“Okay,” Jae puts the least amount of space between his and Brian’s mouth he can while still being able to speak. Brian’s lips are wet and soft when they brush so delicately against Jae’s. “Okay, I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry, but I’m literally about to throw up.”

Brian cocks an eyebrow, “nice to know kissing me makes you sick.” There’s no heat behind the words, though. And Brian yawns wide when he’s finished speaking.

“Apparently, kissing me puts _you_ to sleep, so I guess we’re even,” Jae kisses Brian one more time, trying his best to keep it a simple chaste press of lip, then he rolls over to lay beside Brian once again.

A silence swells between them. Brian and Jae breathe ragged next to each other, still inches apart, hands almost brushing where they rest on bed spread. Brian cocks his head to look at Jae, “you wanna order pizza?”

 

 

 

 

 

Jae splashes water on his face.

The faucet in this bathroom has next to no pressure. It spurts suspiciously when it’s first turned on, then leaks slow but steady against a dirty and cracked basin. Jae leans with both hands braced against the sink and breathes slow. He’s still so high and he feels weird - like every part of his body is swollen. His chest feels hot from the inside out, like his heart’s on fire.

This is all because he bought some strange kid’s weed, probably.

The bathroom door swings open. Brian appears on the other side, tugging at his bangs and holding a bottle of blue Gatorade. At the sight of the liquid sloshing around in the plastic bottle, Jae suddenly feels his cottonmouth a hundred times worse than he did before. He reaches wordlessly out for the bottle, which Brian is gracious enough to give him.

Jae drinks like a man who hasn’t had a drop of water in years. He’s a madman and he’s high, so he disregards any common courtesy and sucks down the entire bottle. A few drops escape the corner of his mouth and drip down his chin and then further, down the column of his throat.

Brian is silent as Jae turns to toss the empty bottle into the trash. When Jae turns back, however, Brian reaches a hand out to catch the drop of liquid on Jae’s neck on his thumb. He licks it off the pad of his thumb.

They’re both still high and it’s all been building to this, it really has. Every stretch of asphalt and shared piece of food and fight for the AUX cord has been a slow incline and now they’ve finally reached the peak - time to go barreling down the other side, it seems.

So Jae kisses Brian. Pushes him up against a rickety bathroom stall wall that groans underneath them and kisses him hard and bites his bottom lip hard and grips at Brian’s shoulders _hard_.

What do you know - when you’re speeding downhill it’s hard to stop, isn’t it?

Jae drops his mouth from Brian’s in favour of biting at the sharp line of his jaw. Brian’s bangs are in his face again, hair as rattled as the rest of him. Jae bites Brian’s ear lobe and Brian groans, hand coming to push his palm against Jae’s dick through his pants.

Jae’s not wearing underwear because he has no clean ones and that’s kind disgusting, frankly, but right now it’s so, so convenient. It means Brian just has to push open the button and unzip the fly of Jae’s pants to get Jae’s dick out, has to do so much less work to get his hand around Jae’s dick.

Jae keeps biting at Brian’s jaw and neck while Brian starts pumping a tight fist back and forth along his dick. It’s not good - not by any means - it’s too dry and too messy but it doesn’t matter. Jae feels like he’s had electrical wires under his skin this whole time and Brian has finally plugged him into a socket.

Brian takes the hand he’s not using to jerk Jae off and puts it under Jae’s chin, using it to lift his face back up to his mouth so they can kiss again. The kissing dissolved into much the same as the hand job - the same kind of messy, except the kiss is so wet compared to the dry feeling of Brian’s hand around Jae’s dick.

Jae doesn’t quite register how long it takes him to come but something tells him, in a normal circumstance, it would be a short enough to be a little embarrassed. As it stands, he’s still high and he just came, so he doesn’t care.

Jae lets Brian gently push him off, watching as Brian walks over to the sink to wash his hands while Jae tucks himself back into his pants.

“Hey, I -” Jae starts, but Brian cuts him off.

“You gonna remember that this time?”

 

 

 

 

 

Jae doesn’t know what Brian means. The words haunt him as a silence stretches between the two of them in the car the same way the road stretches in front of them. Jae’s not high anymore, neither is Brian, and guilt rears it’s ugly head and sinks it’s teeth into Jae’s brain stem and refuses to let go.

Jae clears his throat. “About earlier,” he says, reaching into the cup holder and pulling out an empty straw wrapper, starting to rip it into tiny pieces out of nervousness. “Do you want to - should we -”

“Talk?” Brian says sharply. “You mean you want to actively acknowledge it this time?”

“See, what does that even _mean_?” Jae asks. “What do you mean ‘this time’?”

“I mean,” Brian’s hand make a noise against the plastic of the wheel when he tightens them around it. “I mean, back in Toronto, the night before you left. And how you either forgot because you were wasted or you pretended to forget.”

“Brian,” Jae breathes, “is that - is that what this was all about? You thought I forgot and you decided to just be mad at me for it?”

“You didn’t say anything,” Brian counters, voice raising slightly in volume. He’s not yelling, yet, but he could be well on his way there. “Then you kept doing these _things_. You let me touch you at the skatepark, you laid with me in the backseat. You let me jerk you off. It was like you remembered and you wanted to fuck with me. And I _liked_ you, I still fucking like you. And it felt like you were laughing in my face.”

It feels like a knife in Jae’s gut. Twisting and twisting with every word Brian says. “Brian, I -”

“It hurt. It hurt so bad. But I -”

“You didn’t say anything either!” Jae interrupts. He doesn’t mean to shout or to come off so angry - but it’s frustrating, sitting here listen to these problems they created for themselves because they just couldn’t fucking _talk_ to each other. “I didn’t know what to do because you didn’t say anything either. How do you bring that up? Bro, did you like making out with me that one time we were way drunk? Cause I sure did. Wanna do it again?”

Jae’s being facetious. It’s meant to be a joke. But then Brian says, “yes,”

“What,”

Brian slows the car down as he swerves onto the curb. Once the car sits parked on the edge of the road he turns to look at Jae. “Yes, I liked making out with. Yes, I want to do it again.”

Jae doesn’t know what to say. His tongue feels useless, his throat feels dry. His brain feels like it forgot how to speak english, or form sentences in a coherent way. All these lame body parts can supply him with is an exhaled, quiet, “oh.”

Brian grabs the collar of Jae’s tank top and pulls him forward. Their mouths meet and this time it’s more like the way you’d imagine kissing someone you like. Soft and meticulous, a little bit of a fumbling exploration, quiet requests of permission. It doesn’t last long, or at least, not long enough for Jae.

As soon as they part Jae says, “okay,” he says, “okay, me too. I want to do it again too.”

 

 

 

 

 

A handjob in a bathroom and making out on the side of the road really holds you up on a road trip, apparently, because Brian and Jae only make it to Lubbock, Texas, before they decide to call it a night.

Jae waits for Brian in the car while Brian books the motel room. “I hope you don’t mind,” Brian says when he returns, blushing slightly and offering Jae a room key, “I got us a single bed.”

Jae feels like his face must go bright red. He’s suddenly very thankful for how dark it is outside.

The room isn’t special. It looks like it hasn’t been redecorated since the 80’s, with wallpaper peeling near the ceiling and horribly upholstered chairs in either corner across from the bed. The bed, itself, is not overly big, though it will fit the two of them. Albeit, a little snuggly.

Brian wastes no time stripping down his boxers. “Aircon is busted,” he tells Jae as he settles on top of the sheets.

Jae takes a minute to look Brian over. He’s never had this chance before, the opportunity to appraise Brian has never come up, and Brian is practically naked and lying in a bed Jae’s about to get in beside him. Sure, they shared a bed the entire time Jae was staying with Brian in Toronto - but every one of those nights the two of them wore much more than their underwear. So Jae takes advantage in this moment, if only briefly. He hopes he’ll have more chances in the future.

Jae is much less graceful, it seems, at removing his clothes. He nearly wipes out and cracks his head open taking off his socks. Jae manages to strip himself down the same amount of clothing as Brian, though. Then Jae just stands in front of the bed, arms lamely hanging at his sides.

Brian cocks an eyebrow, “come here,” he says, beckoning with a finger.

Jae does as he’s told, slinking onto the bed in what is probably not a sexy way but he really hopes is doing it for Brian anyway. It’s all very familiar after that: the way Brian’s hands feel against the bare skin of Jae’s waist, the way he flips Jae over, this time with Brian positioning himself on top.

It’s even becoming familiar to kiss Brian, which is simultaneously weird and exciting.

Brian kisses Jae for a long time. Just kissing, the occasional brush of fingers up Jae’s sides that makes him shiver. They get hard, eventually, and Jae can’t really be ashamed of himself when Brian is kissing him while he’s half-naked. Brian’s hard too, thank god, and there’s only this thin layer of cotton separating their cocks.

Jae’s eyelashes flutter when Brian pulls away from kissing him for a second. “Are you gonna fuck me?”

Brian bites the curve of Jae’s jaw and says, right near his ear, “you want me fuck you?”

And - oh, how is Jae supposed to say no? Only, he can’t say yes because his vocal chords aren’t working properly. All he manages is to whine and lift his hips off the mattress to grind against Brian, hoping it’s getting his point across.

Texas is so hot and the air conditioning is busted and Brian spends what feels like _hours_ opening Jae up with his fingers. Jae’s hair ends up either plastered with sweat to his forehead or fanned out in a mess across the motel pillow. And he’s hard - oh god, he’s so fucking hard. Jae wants to come so bad.

Brian keeps giving his cock little licks but it’s never enough to do anything besides get him even more worked up. “Will you please,” Jae finally begs, breathing hard, “get your fingers out of my ass and fuck me?”

Brian smirks, “if you say so,” he says, giving one final long lick up the underside of Jae’s cock.

When Brian finally fucks him Jae feels so good. He gets so lost in it - the steady rhythm of Brian’s hips, the way this cheap ass bed makes too much noise. Anyone is any room around knows they’re fucking right now and Jae’s not embarrassed, why should he be? Brian is fucking him and all he can think about people knowing that is _good_.

Brian eventually wraps his hand around Jae’s dick and makes him come. It’s gross - in this dirty motel on these dirty sheets and his own spunk drying on his stomach but Jae is sated and he’s happy and that seems to be a pattern with him and things involving Brian.

When Brian pulls out of Jae he’s still half hard, so Jae flips him over without any preamble and favorably takes Brian’s dick into his mouth.

 

 

 

 

 

What sucks about the rest of the trip is that the rest of their trek is through the desert. And Jae really wants to fuck, so much, but it’s so hot. They buy extra lube and condoms, anyway, because even if they don’t end up fucking there’s the reality that dry ass handjobs suck and sometimes you don’t feel like swallowing.

Brian’s got two hands on the wheel - ten and two, nine and three, whichever - and it’s so fucking hot. It doesn’t matter if they blast the air conditioning or if they roll down the windows, Jae and Brian are sweating so much they stick to the car seats. That’s the fucking desert for you, man.

About ten miles and ten minutes after the border between New Mexico and Arizona back, they stopped for gas and Brian gave into his delicate Canadian weather sensibilities and took his shirt off, tossing it into the backseat. Jae has gone for the less conspicuous option of upturning a bottle of water from the gas station cooler over his head.

So Jae is now wet and dying of heat and Brian is right beside him, shirtless and dripping sweat off the curves of his neck and arms. Down the slope of his chest and stomach. Jae is wet and hot and he wants to get Brian’s hands on him so bad. The collection of sweat on Brian’s top lip probably tastes like salt and dirt and _Brian_.

Jae clicks his seatbelt off. It’s loud enough that Brian spares him a glance with a cocked eyebrow before diverting his gaze back to the road. “Just keep driving,” Jae says, pulling his legs off the floor and folding them underneath him.

“What are you doing?” Brian asks, confused, but doing as he’s told. Brian spares Jae only quick glances as he speeds smoothly down the mostly deserted road. Good boy, Jae thinks, as the sky stretches long in every direction.

Jae doesn’t reply to Brian’s question with words. He leans over the center console, finding a balance so he doesn’t go sliding off his seat and get stuck, or some dumb shit like that. It takes him a second but he manages, then slides low and smoothly to position himself over Brian’s crotch.

“Jae,” Brian manages, breathlessly.

There’s a lot of things that could go wrong with road head. Brian could swerve off the road and crash the car and kill them both, if Jae is somehow that good at sucking cock. Brian could hit the breaks too fast and Jae could bite his dick off. Jae could choke because they hit a pothole and throw up all over Brian’s dick. The unpleasant outcomes are endless.

But, somehow, Jae doesn’t give a fuck. Maybe it’s because they’re so far away from anyone who could tell them what to do and they have been for so long. Maybe it’s because real life doesn’t seem real anymore. Jae hasn’t executed any part of his normal daily routine in days. His sleep schedule is fucked. Nothing barely matters anymore, so he’s gonna suck Brian off while they drive through the desert. And he’s gonna try and make sure that the only thing that happens is that Brian comes.

Jae works on Brian’s button and fly on his shorts, slow and meticulous in a way that’s supposed to be teasing. Brian just looms above him, occasionally adjusting in his seat or his hands on the wheel. When Jae pulls his dick out of his pants, finally, he turns his head slightly to look up at Brian.

Brian spares him a glance, gulps, and tightens his grip on the wheel. Jae tries not to smirk. It’s so hard when he feels so good having the kind of effect on Brian.

Jae takes Brian’s soft dick into his mouth, determined to get him hard and get him off as quickly as possible, because there are a lot of things about this whole road head situation that still kind of freak Jae out. He works his tongue along the underside of Brian’s dick, placing a tight fist around the base of Brian’s dick and pumping in time with each press of tongue.

Brian groans and curses from above Jae, but his hands do not falter, and so Jae works the tip of his tongue across the slit of Brian’s dick as a reward. He can taste precome and sweat and Jae feels himself growing harder in the confines of his loose shorts. Brian’s hard too now, filling up Jae’s mouth so good.

It’s not long after that Brian finally lets one hand off the wheel. He drops it into Jae’s hair and tugs - it makes Jae groan, like it always does - but Brian is rambling something that Jae needs to focus on. “Jae, Jae, fuck,” Brian says breathlessly, “I’m gonna come, I’m about to come and I need you to stop or I am really going to drive this car off the road if you make me come.”

Jae pulls off, keeps his head in Brian’s lap while he looks up at him, and says, “okay, hurry.”

Brian wastes no time into swerving, as delicately as he can given the situation, onto the side of the road and throwing the car in the park. He breathes out a hard sigh and leans back, giving Jae all the confirmation he needs to continue.

Jae barely gets his mouth back on Brian before he’s shoving both hands into Jae’s hair, gripping _hard_ , raising his hips slightly off the driver's seat, and coming. Jae’s throat is so dry from the heat, so he does his best to swallow it all.

Jae lets Brian’s dick slip out of his mouth. He remembers Brian is still shirtless, still dripping sweat, and Jae indulges a lick across his abs. It tastes how he expects - sweat and dirt and Brian - and he likes it so much.

Brian shivers under Jae’s tongue despite the sweltering heat.

 

 

 

 

 

The Grand Canyon’s alright. Jae’s been before, once or twice, and he didn’t get it then and he doesn’t really get it now. Brian, on the other hand, has never been. He’s excited enough for the both of them.

“Dude, it’s like,” Jae is saying as they park, “it’s just like - a giant hole. Just a big hole in the ground.”

Jae watches Brian’s profile as he shifts the car into park. There’s a blossoming hickey just above the collar on his v-neck. Jae resists the urge to reach out and push his finger against it, make Brian suck in a sharp breath. “It’s _not_ just a big hole in the ground. It’s like, one of seven Natural Wonders of the World. And it’s much easier to get to the top of this then the top of Mount Everest.”

The air is still heavy with heat when Jae and Brian climb out of the car. Jae feels it pressing down on his shoulders, making him feel a little sluggish. Brian manages to edge out his way in front of Jae towards the canyon, making it to the edge first with Jae trailing behind.

The sun is setting, that same orange glow Jae has become so familiar with seeing cast across Brian’s face and skin. Brian’s got a tan now, too, and the orange of the sky turns Brian slightly more bronze. Jae catches himself standing a few steps behind Brian, just looking at him stand against the sky above this giant fucking hole. The frame of Jae’s vision and everything in cased in it reminds him of a photo Brian would take for his Instagram - soft focus and undisputed beauty in everything.

Brian turns face Jae, head framed in light. He smiles, reaches out an arm for Jae to come stand beside him. Jae is nothing if not a little cautious, a little apprehensive to get so near the edge. But he takes Brian’s hand and let’s himself be lead closer, interlocking their fingers just to be sure.

“See?” Jae says. Brian is peering over the edge down to the ground far below, Jae leans over just slightly. As far as he’s comfortable with. “Just like I told you, it’s a big hole. One that I can fall in and die in at any moment.”

Brian stands up straight again, “I won’t let you fall,” he says with a small laugh. He’s tugging Jae closer, then, squeezing their fingers together. He knocks his nose against the lower frame of Jae’s glasses playfully and slots their mouths together.

It’s a slow kiss, slow slide of mouths and tongues. Jae considers if he trusts Brian to keep him from falling into the Grand Canyon and decides he does. But, he thinks, he also could fall in right now and at least he’d die happy.

 

 

 

 

 

There are a lot of songs about California. The one Brian sings when they drive over the State border, of course, goes _fuck today, fuck San Francisco, fuck California_.

 

 

 

 

 

They decide, now that they’re in California, that they won’t stop until Jae is home. With all the fucking around they’ve done, they’ve easily been on the road for almost a week now. Jae hasn’t had a shower with good water pressure for days, hasn’t conditioned his hair for even longer. This last leg of the trip, especially, has turned both Jae and Brian into smelly, sweaty messes.

Jae is curled into a ball in the passenger seat, trying to stay awake so he can direct Brian down the right busy roads and side streets. He’s pulled his arms inside of his sweater and curled them up against his chest, done the same with his legs and then pulled his loose hoodie over his knees.

“My bed’s gonna feel so nice after this,” Jae mumbles. Brian hums in agreement.

Jae wants to say something about how good it’ll feel with Brian in it too - maybe a little small but that’ll only give them an excuse to get closer and it’s not like they aren’t used to kind of small - but he’s not sure if Brian plans on staying after he drops Jae off. Jae doesn’t want to pressure him either, even if Jae’s parents aren’t home and won’t be until next week. They’re off on a cruise somewhere, Jae doesn’t remember, which is half the reason he picked to go visit Brian when he did.

It’s bittersweet, the way with each pass of every bright street light over their heads that the trip comes closer and closer to an end. Jae’s excited to be home and to once again have all the luxuries that come with that. He’s excited to see Mark again and retell every weird and specific detail of this trip. On the other hand, in all the same ways Jae had to come back to California because this is where his life is - Brian has to back to Toronto because that’s where _his_ life is.

In this moment, though, Brian’s still with him. Jae tries not to miss him before he’s already gone.

 

 

 

 

 

They make it Jae’s house sometime around midnight. Brian helps Jae take his suitcase out of the trunk before he presses him up against the side of his car and kisses him for what feels like forever but still isn’t long enough. “I -” Jae starts but doesn’t know how to finish.

“Can I come in?” Brian asks for him, almost like he knew the exact words that Jae couldn’t get out. He leans in and kisses Jae again and says, “can I stay?”

Jae nods, enthusiastic, but tacks on a quick, “you don’t have to.”

“I want to,” Brian insists.

Jae’s shower is small but they make it work to the best of their abilities.

Jae washes what feels like years of dirt and sweat and grime out of his hair and off of his skin. The body wash he shares with Brian is lavender scented and something about how they will both smell the same when they exit the shower makes Jae’s gut twist a little with giddiness. Before that, though, Jae decides he’s going to kiss Brian until the water starts to run cold.

“Isn’t there a drought?” Brian interrupts about five minutes into kissing.

“Fuck,” Jae curses, before obediently switching the knob of the shower off.

 

 

 

 

 

Brian stays the night. And the next night too. The second day he’s in California Jae finally gets his wish and they go to the beach. Jae lends Brian his swim shorts, the most hideous blend of orange and yellow tropical flowers ever seen. “These really suit you,” Brian says when Jae offers them to him.

The weather is nice. Brian looks so nice with his shirt off and his tan and his soft hair. Jae is pasty and slathered in sunscreen and he can barely see because he couldn’t find his prescription sunglasses. It’s weird, how Brian can be so much better suited for this weather than Jae when Jae has lived here his entire life. It’s weird, still, that Brian can look like some sun bronzed greek god and want to hold hands with Jae’s pasty ass anyway.

They swim a few times. Brian sputters when he gets salt water in his mouth and his eyes and after Jae laughs at him Brian tugs out Jae’s ankle from underneath him and sends him splashing backwards into the water.

In the evening Jae takes Brian to Venice Beach so he can skateboard. Jae watches him zip back and forth, until at one point Brian disappears for a little longer than before and returns with an ice cream cone for both himself and Jae.

They sit side by side in silence. Listening to the waves flow in and out, crash against the pier. The steady slap of sandals as people walk behind them. It gets quieter and quieter as people file away for the night, though.

“I haven’t taken a single picture this trip,” Brian says. He’s looking at his phone lamely, turning it over in his hand.

Jae lets out a small, “oh” in response around a mouthful of the cone of his ice cream.

“It’s okay,” Brian replies.

Jae watches as Brian unlocks his phone and positions his screen close to his face. Jae can’t see the screen anymore, so he turns his head to face where the lens is pointing. It’s beautiful - the ocean framed by the bluest sky. In the distance, a gaggle of kids splash in the water.

Jae hears the sound of the shutter and turns his head back in time to see Brian push his phone back into his pocket. “That’s good enough.”

Jae finishes his ice cream after it’s almost half melted. His fingers drip onto the sand below him and onto his bent knees. Brian, who’s ice cream is so long gone, takes Jae’s wrist delicately into his hand. He brings it up to his mouth, slowly, and then he’s licking the sticky ice cream off of Jae’s fingers. It’s intimate, so intimate, especially for in public. Jae can’t take his eyes off Brian’s pink tongue to check to see if anyone is watching them, though.

Brian smirks at Jae when he notices he has Jae’s rapt attention, tugging Jae’s index finger out of his mouth with an obscene pop. “I am,” Jae swallows, “so mad at you.”

Brian laughs so hard he knocks himself off his perch above the sand and falls onto it. Jae slides on top of him carefully, hiding them from view slightly, and kisses him.

They try to make it home before anything gets too heated, but as soon as night falls they fuck in the backseat of Brian’s car in the first mostly empty parking lot they find. It’s cramped, Jae’s glasses fall off and his head hits the ceiling once or twice - it’s worth it, regardless.

 

 

 

 

 

Brian’s suitcase is packed, his car is packed. He’s had breakfast, got a full tank of gas and is wearing a snapback Jae bought him in Santa Monica backwards on his head. Jae, himself, isn’t really anything besides sad.

“I don’t want you to leave,” Jae says, tucking a piece of hair behind his ear.

“Me neither,” Brian replies. It’s still early enough, only 9AM, and above them in a tree a few birds chirp enthusiastically. “It’s too hot here for me, though, I’m a cold-blooded reptile.”

Jae punches Brian in the arm for that, a little harder than playful but with no intention of hurting him. “You’re a jerk.”

Brian offers a bright smile that Jae does his best to mimic. It falls a little short. “Hey,” Brian says quietly. He circles his fingers around Jae’s wrist in that same way he’s done so many times before. “I really - I like you, a lot. I know we’re probably gonna be apart for a little while now but. But I like you _so much_ I want to try and see you again. As soon as I can.” Brian’s voice is so sincere.

It reminds Jae of the way Brian spoke when they were in Oklahoma, when everything was falling apart but they managed to pull themselves back together. Jae doesn’t know how to respond in a way that will portray what he’s feeling, so he nods.

“So you’re my boyfriend now, right?” Brian asks.

Jae laughs, “right, of course, obviously.”

Brian kisses Jae, once, twice. The third time Jae promises will be the last because he knows the longer he spends kissing Brian the harder and harder it will get to stop. The more and more he’ll feel the absence when Brian’s gone. They end up making it to five before Jae is finally pushing Brian away with two hands on his chest and saying, “you should really go.”

Brian sighs, “I know.”

Watching Brian’s car pull away is one of the hardest things Jae’s done. He can’t stop it from holding his gaze, though, even when Brian’s car is nothing but an indiscernible dot on the horizon.

When he crawls into bed that night Jae is grateful one of his pillows smells slightly like Brian.

 

 

 

 

 

He gets a text from Brian sometime around midnight that he’s stopped just inside of Nevada and found a motel to stay at. Jae replies with a _that’s good_ and then, right after, _i miss you already </3_.

Brian tells Jae that he misses him too and then regrettably announces he’s dying of exhaustion and that he’s going to be going to bed.

Jae tells Brian goodnight, punctuated by no fewer than five heart emojis, before Jae sighs loudly to no one and decides to open up his Instagram.

A few posts down is a post from - it’s from Brian. At first Jae can only see the top of it, a skyline stretched far across the screen. When he further he sees there is someone’s profile in the photo. Someone Jae recognizes, though it takes him a minute to realize.

It’s him.

His face is in shadow and he’s looking out across the water, but those are his glasses and that’s his nose and his chin and jaw. Jae hadn’t even realized Brian had managed to get him into the frame.

Brian hasn’t tagged him in the photo. Jae isn’t tagged in the description, either. It’s an intimate moment preserved on the internet forever and seen by so many people already, about to be seen by even more people, but something about it is still so private. Something about it remains just for him and Brian.

Jae loves California. Has always loved California. There’s something about the sunshine, the smell of the ocean, the diversity of people. His body always wants to take him back to California.

Jae may have found the only other place he’d rather be, though. Because he kind of loves Brian too. And his heart seems to just want to be wherever Brian is.

The description of the photo simply says _see you soon_.

Jae double taps his screen.

**Author's Note:**

> road head: don't try it at home, kids.


End file.
